delight

i know what i want.

more than i ever have before, i know what i want. it is in me every day. a part of my being. a fire in my bones. a burning light in my heart. i feel it from my fingertips down to my toes. in the prickling of my eyes when i start to tear up thinking about how badly i want it. in the way it feels like my chest physically swells, my heart fills with joy, my breathing gets tight, my whole biology changed. just THINKING about it. Father, You know my heart better than anyone, especially myself. You know me. You know what needs to be changed. You know what i’m good at. You alone love me enough to lead me to this place. God, Father, Abba, Creator, Maker. You have made me. You have formed me. You knew what You were doing when you put this longing in my soul from birth. it’s been within me all along, before i even realized it. i don’t know if i ever realized i could love something so much. my heart is so full of joy. i want this. i want it because You have placed the desire within me. delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. i delight in You. You have placed this desire in my heart and i know You will see it through because it is of You.

i love You more than i can explain.

on fire

i love fall.

a little something i stole from a person i’m only friends with through the internet

5 Things found in my bag: bible, ipod, moleskine, wedding planning journal, some kind of lip balm
5 Things in my room: candles, wood flowers, books, guitar, lots of blankets
5 Things I’ve always wanted to do: skydive, record an album, read the bible front to back (working on it), have a job i love, go out of the country
5 Things I’m currently into: becoming a better singer, candles, fashion, sierra mist cranberry splash, boots

ugly jar

 

-we’re out of clean glasses, so i took joelle’s big mug to drink juice from this morning :]
-ugly jars! at church this weekend, pastor spoke on joy and gave us all ugly jars. he challenged us to go on a 7 day fast from complaining. so for every time we complain we have to put a dollar in the ugly jar. then at the end of the week, we bring them back and the money goes to a community outreach partner. i love the ugly jar. it’s helping me be a lot more thankful for what God has blessed me with.

[son of David
don't pass me by]

open fields

images from robert’s backyard. with any luck it’s the place we’ll get married next year. we’ll see.
the last picture i like because they look like sparklers.
:]

1&2. makeup inventory before and after

3&4. engaged!! there are no words to express how excited i am.

1 samuel 17:45-51

i have stepped in the shoes of David, putting on armor to take it off
rising up to the Holy challenge. starting nowhere but seeking God

i have battled with my own weapon, created for me by Your own hands
quickly defeating my looming giant. giving You glory with song and dance

who am i
who are You

the hero is dead, and we are rejoicing
Goliath has fallen
our armies defied, the Lord is avenged
not by the sword. the battle is His
their hero is dead

i’m a servant, i’m a shepherd
i am David
you come against me with sword and spear,
but i come here in the name of the Lord.

lovely

  1. amanda. high school. i love her.

  2. sara, jerolyn, amanda, merrie, jana. amazing high school girls, sold out, ready to work for the Lord. beautiful to behold.

 

 

 

 

 

droplet

yes, that’s right, two days in a row! bam.

i can’t get over the beauty He has created
such simple things

apples!

1. jennica (other roommate) got me flowers last week. i was supposed to sing a song at church, but it got cut and she knew how much i had wanted to do it so one day she brought me home flowers and that was awesome.

2. rob and me in a tree!

3. my mommy and myself

4. robert and his mommy. our moms met for the first time on this trip, so that was exciting. overall, it was a great trip.

learning

it’s been a week(end) of extreme disappointment and incredible uplifting.
at least i’m topping it off right. listening to a new amazing paramore song, surrounded by people i love, satisfied after adding 8 or 9 brand new albums onto my ipod from jeremy’s computer after many failed attempts. i’m completely drained. empty. i may have a few more tears left in me, but that’s all. not much.

several (i believe unintentionally) hurtful things were said to me by someone i consider close to me this week. i’ve received no apologies. probably because she doesn’t realize she has hurt me. in which case it’s my fault there are no apologies. gotta work on that.
experienced disappointment at church last night and tonight. i think church disappointment is the hardest for me to deal with. i want so desperately not to be angry and bitter, but it’s really hard. especially when i’m this tired and this weak. and though that happened tonight, worship was still just unbelievably amazing and i got a lot of encouragement from some of the best guys in the world. i love the guys in our bands. badass on the outside, super loving and compassionate on the inside. it’s amazing.

this week i spent a lot of time trying to avoid the song Glory to God because i’m tired of it. we play it a lot and i wasn’t really looking forward to singing it. it’s funny how God works. because tonight that song spoke to me more than any other song we did. especially the second verse. i was sad and disappointed. still worshiping God but accepting that there was a place in my heart that was in pain. but as we sang the second verse i was reminded of my purpose. and it has NOTHING to do with me and everything to do with Him.
Creator God, You gave me breath so i could praise Your great and matchless name all my days. so let my whole life be a blazing offering, a life that shouts and sings the greatness of our King.
my Father, the Creator created me and gave me the breath in my lungs for the sole purpose of praising His name and bringing Him glory, not myself. and for ALL my days, not just some. so i’m just praying that God soaks those words into my soul this week and allows me to see that no matter what happens, the expected or the unexpected, He has created me to praise Him and Him alone.

at the end of the day, i’m in love with this gift He’s given me in my voice and it’s an honor to use it for His glory. i know He’s teaching me.
lol i love Him so so much. so much.